Things have been a little slow on here. A lot of ideas being knocked around and not enough work getting done. Rest assured a new story is on the way in a few days. But that’s not what I came to talk about. I came here to discuss the vast joys of the motion picture called Eegah! …… Now I’ve done that I’ll get down to business.
“The crazed love of a prehistoric giant for a ravishing teen-age girl!”
With a tagline like that, who needs a film? And besides, what they made really doesn’t live up to the hype. I'd imagined something that should probably be banned. This is more like a really rich man’s warped home movie with one struggling actor thrown in for fun. More on that later.
Having not read the back of the box before watching this I was surprised to find it set in modern day (1960s) California. It wastes no time getting into the action, as our teenage girl, Roxy Miller, is driving late at night and nearly runs over a tall guy in rags with a big plastic club. Now I’m not the tallest chap in the world, but describing someone whose 7ft 2 as a giant is a little generous. He is obviously very tall, but it’s not filmed in a way which looks that impressive. Nevertheless, she sets about convincing her boyfriend and father.
A humorous piece of justification comes when the father, Robert Miller, cites the bible with, “There were giants in the earth, in those days”. Then her boyfriend Tom quickly stakes his Elvis LP on the existence of this giant. Naturally they visit the scene of the incident at the edge of the desert. Once they find a largish looking footprint in the sand, everyone is convinced. Robert even wants to write a book about it. This leads to a trip into the desert and lots of predictable giant fun. This film is wrong in so many ways I’m not sure where to start. Eegah was made about the time of Cliff’s Summer Holiday and Elvis doing the hula. The influences are obvious as it jumbles up the genres to present us with a fantasy, horror, musical, love film. I might say it was innovative if it wasn’t such an obvious drive-in cash in. Amusingly the director Arch Hall Senior said, “It was always sort of a subject of laughter that the darned thing did so well”. Funnier still that he’s referring to the film just breaking even.
This film had no budget and it shows. Filming in the California desert, with a cast made up of the director’s son, Arch Hall Junior as Tom, the director’s secretary, Marilyn Manning as Roxy, and the director Arch Hall Senior playing the father. That just leaves Eegah the prehistoric oddity played by Richard Kiel. Who went on to play one of the 007 films most recognisable villains – Jaws. Often referred to as ‘the big guy with the metal teeth’. Kiel comes off with the best performance since he doesn’t have to do much other than growl, chuck stuff, and act primitive. Everyone else is dire. Worse still are the incongruous musical interruptions from Arch Hall Junior, as he sings songs about girls (and never his girlfriend – how insensitive). I did find myself laughing a fair few times at some of the bizarre things going on. For instance Robert Miller trying to pimp his daughter to Eegah so that they can escape from his cave. Then there’s the very fact that Eegah and his prehistoric species have survived in a cave near L.A. for thousands of years and never been noticed till now. And when Roxy asks to see Eegah’s cave etchings I was rolling in hysterics.
The production values are as bad as the acting and story. Eegah sports a very big and very fake beard, whilst still maintaining a nice short, back and sides haircut. A lot of dialogue has been recorded and dubbed in later. Characters speak even though their lips are not moving. Some voices sound like they are coming from the sky. Scenes are overly long and bland. The overall pace of the movie is too slow with a rather abrupt ending.
It’s no surprise then that Eegah only scored 2.6 out of a possible 10 on the IMDB, from 2,107 votes, putting it at number 94 on the all time bottom 100 (as of Feb 1st 2007). It’s also no wonder that Arch Hall Junior never acted in a film that wasn’t either written or directed by his father. View at your own risk.
If you don’t think you can stomach a viewing of Eegah: The Movie, why not try out Eegah: The Website at www.eegah.com It's got some funky artwork, sound clips, photos, lyric sheets, and loads of info. All in an aptly mocking tone. Great fun. So far:
Best Film: Ator the Invincible (1984)
Worst Film: The King and I (1999)
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