100. Monster A Go-Go (1965)

And so it begins.

With a title like that I’ll wager you’re expecting some kind of exciting, off the wall, unique viewing experience. It’s unique all right, but not for any commendable reasons. On February 1st 2007, Monster a Go-Go ranked at number 100 in the IMDB (Internet Movie Database) bottom 100 films. It averaged 2.6 out of 10 with a total of 1,735 votes.

Monster A Go-Go (I laugh every time I type it), started life as a low budget horror/sci-fi flick called ‘Terror at Halfday’. Bill Rebane co-wrote and directed, but alas, the money dried up and the incomplete footage was shelved. Until notorious gore and exploitation movie producer Herschell Gordon Lewis came along, in need of an inexpensive film to go on a double bill with one of his other dubious creations.

As far as I can tell, the majority of what we see in the final product is Rebane’s footage. The story concerns a failed manned rocket mission to investigate unusual objects orbiting the Earth. The rocket crash lands, the astronaut is missing, and there is a giant humanoid monster on the loose killing people. It appears the monster is a mutated version of the astronaut with a heavy dose of radiation, able to contaminate those that get too close. In other words, been there, seen this, but never so badly made. It’s really just a rehash of The Quatermass Experiment (1955), but with none of the atmosphere and a far less coherent plot.

Most jarring of all, although highly amusing, is the narration added by Herschell Gordon Lewis himself. It runs throughout the whole film. To get a flavour of this sadistic cherry on an already bad movie here’s a direct sample:

"Narrator: What changes the delicate interlocking of fates that determines life or death. A series of ‘ifs’. If the girl had danced with her boyfriend instead of the other boy, and they had stayed later. If the two of them hadn’t parked to kiss and make up. But that is not what happened. And fate, and history, never deal in ‘ifs.

>Monster enters stage right. Followed by poorly lit, shakily filmed death scene."

The purpose of the narration seems solely to try and make sense of the loosely connected scenes, without bothering to film the required extra footage to make it a proper film. Sometimes I think Lewis just gets bored as he decides to tell you what is going to happen in the next scene. One time it even substitutes having a scene, by purely describing what happens over the image of an empty room. It’s these moments of gobsmaking audacity that make Monster A Go-Go (snigger), both a delight and an abomination.

The other most notable thing on show is the monster itself; played by Henry Hite, who stood at an impressive 7 foot 6 inches tall. Although the movie blurb says the monster is 10 foot tall, and so he is shot from a low angle to try and make this believable. Hite’s monster is suffering from some form of radiation mutation that causes cheap latex to get stuck to his face. He wanders about his scenes looking more confused than terrifying. The rest of the cast is quite frankly utterly forgettable. Even the characters are forgettable. Most don’t even warrant a name, and simply get referred to as ‘driver’, ‘helicopter pilot’, ‘girl’, ‘boyfriend’. Not just in the narration, but in the dialogue too.

One of the most memorable scenes is a pointlessly long, yet entertaining, teen twist party. I was loving the fashionable 60s dancing and music. There is even a funky title song, ‘Go-Moster-Go’, which got me all psyched up for the film. Most of the other memorable moments come from the generally dire production standards. Such as the crashed space capsule that looks barely big enough to fit a cat in it. The ringing phone that sounds remarkably like a man behind the camera going, ‘brrr brrr’. Then there’s the ending.

The ending is to say the least lazy. Not lazy as in there are some plot holes in the resolution. Lazy as in they pretty much just didn’t bother coming in to work. It’s an astonishingly stupid ending, and you’ll have to see it to believe it. You still won’t be impressed though – just perplexed.

Despite my rather cruel assault, I can’t say I hated Monster A Go-Go. As a connoisseur of bad movies at least it’s not completely dull. Just a little dull, and somewhat dim too. It’s feckless charm comes from trying to figure out what may have been originally intended for ‘Terror at Halfday’, and just how far it has gone off the rails.

Does it deserve to be in the bottom 100? Well, it’s early days yet.