99. Rollerball (2002)

Well, this is quite a difference from the last film. Bringing us right back into the present decade. On February 1st 2007, Rollerball was placed at number 99 on the IMDB’s bottom 100 films, with an average score of 2.6 out of 10, and 8,205 votes. That’s a very high number of votes for the bottom 100, strengthening its position there, and showing just how badly this film has been received.

Set in the near future, a violent new sport from Central Asia has taken the world’s interest. Rollerball is like a cross between American football and basketball, on rollerblades, in a figure 8 circuit, and chuck in a couple of motorbikes for good measure. The rules are simple, and the fouls are frequent. Increasing ratings and high levels of gambling keep the games creators and managers in good money. Interest from major television networks is set to boost the balances further, and so they continue to recruit more talented players.

Enter Chris Klein (American Pie); an extreme sports player in need of a healthy pay cheque. After signing up, we quickly get a taste of rollerball action. Somewhere between a wrestling event and a circus, the players wear outlandish masks and body armour. A large part of the game is mowing down the opposition; hence the motorbikes. Live nu-metal music blasts out from a cameo by Slipknot, who look like they could be a rollerball team themselves. The first 20 minutes prove to be a fairly effective action filled start, but from here on things never really get going.

The plot revolves around the idea that the game’s managers are bribing players to cause more and more spectacular injuries to their opponents, which in turn increases the ratings and profits. Jean Reno (Leon) plays the central rollerball creator/manager who lords his power and wealth over everyone. It’s probably the most engaging performance amongst a very bland cast, and yet it feels as though he’s on autopilot. Not least because there is so little dialogue between the many fighting, flaunting, and chasing sequences, that it’s hard to truly get behind any of the characters. LL Cool J fades into the scenery, and the only notable thing about Rebecca Romijn, best known as Mystique in X-Men, is her looks.

What little plot actually exists quickly descends into a daft mess of clichés. The original 1975 version of Rollerball focused on one man’s struggle against a corporation that ran the US and subdued its people. Here we have the cop out use of Central Asia - as it’s obviously more plausible that those ‘savages’ in Asia will love violent sports and let it rule their lives. But the rollerball corporation doesn’t appear to replace any government as in the original, so when someone dies during play and it is still broadcast, why isn’t there an instant investigation? How did the company think they could go on killing people on live TV and not get shut down? Even in the most under-developed countries snuff films are banned. By having the film set so closely in the future (actually now the past, 2005) it both undermines the original purpose of using a future setting, and insults half a continent.

Director John McTiernan, of Predator and Die Hard fame, made his biggest mistake simply by making this film. At what stage did the script ever look like a good prospect? It must have been all of 30 pages long. Looking even worse in comparison with the previous version. There is more character depth to be found in WWE, and if mindless violent ‘sports entertainment’ is what you’re looking for, I would recommend going there first.

I have no problem laying the bulk of the blame at the script itself, or lack of it. All other errors simply compounded this problem. A telling sign of its quality came when, after poor feedback from previews the films release was put back till the next year, and edited down from an R rating to a PG-13. Effectively an admission that the producers just wanted to milk whatever money they could from the carcass of this turkey. The very worst part of this film is it’s ending, but I will leave that joy to the braver amongst you.

On the whole Rollerball is a pointless mess, made worse considering the talent and money involved in a production so recent. You can’t even laugh at it.


So far:-
Best Film: Monster A Go-Go (1965)
Worst Film: Rollerball (2002)