#77 Battlefield Earth (2000)

With the upcoming third worldwide protest against the cult of scientology's abuses this weekend [Video One] [Video Two], it seems timely to review Battlefield Earth. Adapted from a novel by L Ron Hubbard, and championed by actor John Travolta for over a decade. It rapidly gained the infamous status of one of the most expensive flops in cinema history, and quite rightly so.

This film should carry a public service announcement at the start reading, 'Warning - You are now entering a film where all dramatic moments take place at one third normal speed.' If all the unnecessary and tedious slow motion was cut out, it might shave the lengthy two hour runtime down to something more manageable. I should have been more wary after reading about the "special effects that are completely real" on the back of the box. Do they know what a special effect is exactly? Or were all those green laser beams filmed in claymation by Ray Harryhausen? The shame of it is I was genuinely willing to give it a chance. Having seen it about six years ago, my only recollection was of a lacklustre blockbuster; it could have still been a laugh. Rather than the farcical wreck I just watched.



In it's favour the special effects are pretty good. I like the dreadlocked, giant platform booted design of the alien Psychlos, who have taken control of Earth and enslaved it's people to strip mine the planet. Everything has been captured well in terms of picture quality and lighting. There is some occasional good humour. Mostly from scenes with Forest Whitaker and Travolta together, with Whitaker managing one of the best performances in the film (still with pretty poor material). Sadly I'm struggling to find any more compliments.

To get back to the story, we follow the trials of Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper), as he searches for answers to the big questions of life and his mythology. A thousand years after the Psychlos invaded, the human race has become an endangered species. Those that remain free are simple tribes people, without knowledge of the previous days of technology. Flung far away from the Psychlos themselves. After leaving his village, Jonnie soon becomes embroiled in the affairs of a Psychlo named Terl (John Travolta). Terl is the poster boy for frustrated and deluded middle management. If his plan to embezzle his way out of many years more service on Earth ever works, you'll see him on the Psychlo home planet version of The Apprentice. Despite the set-up, any hope for some intriguing and intelligent corporate power games is short lived and glossed over in favour of some manic laughter, shouting, tongue-waggling, and Travolta camping it up. He really knows no limits here. The plot is disappointingly run of the mill, linear and quite laboriously explained to the audience.



The complete lack of attention to detail in the plot is embarrassing. For starters, are we to believe it takes a vastly superior race over 1000 years to mine the planet for what it's worth? Also, in all that time, and despite being based in North America, they never once discovered the gold reserves of Fort Knox. Fragile items like books, left exposed to 1000 years of nature are merely covered with a fine layer of dust. A 1000 year old projector works instantly, but from what electricity supply? Not to mention that a group of savage tribes-people unable to understand the technology of a camera, learn to expertly fly Harrier Jump Jets in under a week. Should I go on?

No. And neither should you. Battlefield Earth is full of holes, it's overblown, too long, too camp, and Barry Pepper is an especially uncharasmatic lead actor. It's a B-movie that somehow walked off the lot with an A-movie budget, and Hollywood has been churning out much better films for a tenth of the cost. The few superficial achievements can't outweigh the mess of a script and over the top direction and editing. Between the bad guys chuckling to themselves about how evil they are, and Pepper being chased on every available set in slow motion, I very much doubt if any viewers will be satisfied.



[2.3/10 | 27,764 votes | stats from 9th March 2008]

Until recently it had the largest number of votes of all the bottom 100 films. There has been strong agreement about the film since soon after it's release, and thus has been a permanent fixture on the list for years.

So far:
Most Fun: #79 Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch (1984)
Most Vomit Inducing - #87 The Neverending Story III (1994)